Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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