alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
