I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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