we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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