I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
