Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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