What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
