Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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