Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
