he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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