you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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