Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
