google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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