help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
