I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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