Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
