I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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