oh god the rape fog is back!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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