Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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