We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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