You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
