Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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