Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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