tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
