So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
