i barfeds in our rink
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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