1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
