Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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