some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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