turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
