You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
