dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
