Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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