the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
