i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
