I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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