if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
