You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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