i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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