so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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