ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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