And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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