Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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