I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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