He is an equal opportunity slut.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I believe in your delicious
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
