so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
