never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
