My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just had sex on a roof
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
