Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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