Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
